


where light can be found

by houndstooth



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Canon Compliant, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Relationship, set sometime between byleth going mint green and before all hell breaks loose, some sothis mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:35:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25271746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/houndstooth/pseuds/houndstooth
Summary: “Bear with me here, Teach. Every little bit we seem to uncover about who you are only leads us into more secrets and mysteries,” Claude replies. He pauses, and Byleth can practically see the gears in his head turning. The care he was trying to put into what he’s saying was clear. “You’re learning that who you thought you were isn’t exactly what you were led to believe. It’s… scary to have your entire life be upended like that.”A beat of silence. The light in the oil lamps flicker.After Sothis gives Byleth her powers, the days are a little quieter.Claudeleth Week Day 1;comfort.
Relationships: My Unit | Byleth/Claude von Riegan
Kudos: 23





	where light can be found

He wakes expecting to see her familiar form stretched out somewhere in his room, still asleep, but levitating close to eye-height. Or her voice in her head, rousing him out of unconsciousness and scolding him for staying up so late grading student work and assessing their growth.

Instead, like yesterday and the days before it, his room is silent.

Empty.

Sothis had said as much, when he had been enveloped in that chill void of nothingness and had been struggling to remain aware of himself, that saving him meant she would be giving up her place in the realm of the living. He had understood—and for the second time in his life, felt a pang of such deep sorrow that his chest _ached_. She had looked down at him from atop her throne and her eyes had been full of warmth and pride and sorrow.

_No need for words. I know your heart as though it were my own._

Byleth had understood that she was gone from that moment on, and now a part of him, but understanding it did not make it hurt any less.

He stares at himself in the half-length mirror on his dresser. Everything was the same, yet so different. His eyes and hair were now a light green, reminiscent of Sothis’ own. The change had been wrought when he had merged with her—he had gathered at least that much when his students had expressed surprise at his new appearance upon his emergence from the void.

She had known as much as he did, really, only gaining full understanding of her existence as the goddess in that quiet, pivotal moment in the space between worlds. A myriad of questions were still left to be answered about his and Sothis’ relationship, about how they seemed to exist with one another. How he’d have liked to be able to uncover it all with her at his side.

Claude had his theories—he’d been poring over Father’s diary ever since Byleth had lent it to him, scouring each page over and over as if every new pass would unveil something else that had been hidden. This recent incident had him returning to it with even more fervor, determined to find _something_ within its worn pages.

Father had had no clue—or so he had said, but Byleth had known him long enough to know when the gears in his head were turning. Perhaps _suspicions_ would be the more apt term; still, whatever he believed he kept it to himself. He insisted that Byleth concentrate on his duties as a professor instead of worrying about anything else.

Now, everything else had caught up to him, and Byleth was starting to not so much as worry as feel a budding sense that everything — the Church, especially — was not as it seemed.

If Byleth closed his eyes, he could still recall it with perfect clarity: her descent from the throne, her reaching a hand out to mirror his own, her body vanishing into soft, dancing flecks of golden light. The growing emptiness as the void consumed even that little warmth, plunging him into darkness, and then—

And then she was gone.

Just like that.

The bell rings; once, twice. Classes would start soon. Manuela had expressed surprise at his willingness to immediately go back to work, but had eventually acquiesced with a firm (but kind) warning to not overexert himself.

Byleth gathers his things, pausing in front of the Sword of the Creator he gently propped up against the wall. Even from here, he could feel the power emanating from it, more than he’d felt when he’d first picked it up all those months ago.

He bows his head silently. It was not so much a prayer but a thank you, incalculable and abstract even to him — but she would know all that he wanted to say without him having to have it all planned out. 

* * *

It’s late evening, the sun just disappeared below the horizon. The sky itself was heading on towards dark night, a thin band of warm sunset still visible on the skyline.

With lessons done for the day and a stack of work to catch up on, Byleth had found himself moored to the classroom after grabbing something to eat. Claude had come strolling in a little bit after, a casual greeting offered and updating Byleth on the information (or lack thereof) he’s managed to procure from his father’s diary.

It’s not something Byleth would admit aloud to looking forward to, but it was a comforting gesture all the same. It was better than being alone and deep in his own thoughts.

“I’ll be honest, Teach—I still find it hard to believe,” Claude says.

“I understand,” Byleth responds. Truth be told, if he was in Claude’s shoes he’d have a hard time believing it himself. His own understanding of Fódlan’s mythos still needed some work, and between teaching and fighting and recovering from recent events it’s been hard to find the drive to pick it back up.

All he now knew was that Sothis was the progenitor goddess, and that their existence had been inexplicably linked since he was born. Somehow.

He picks up a quill and dips it in the opened bottle of ink. The piles of paper on his desk seemed to have multiplied tenfold as he was recuperating, and after a few days of working at it, was nowhere close to being complete. “She’d only just remembered herself. It was bits and pieces at first,” Byleth says, starting to work.

“A _goddess_ with amnesia, huh?” Claude sighs and shakes his head. “And she only just started to recover her memories when you came to the monastery… for some reason. But… it’s also the only explanation that makes the most sense,” Claude continues. He’s pacing around the front of the classroom. “The goddess herself bestowed upon you her power so that you could escape, but did so at the cost of her being. Has Rhea — _Lady_ Rhea said anything to you since then?”

Byleth shakes his head. “No, nothing.”

Claude pauses. He frowns and crosses his arms, looking deep in thought. “Interesting. She _did_ visit you, though…,” he murmurs, trailing off. Absorbed in his own thoughts, Claude slides into one of the seats and falls silent, leaving Byleth to his work.

By the time Byleth feels the gentle tug of sleep on his consciousness a few hours later, the pile of paperwork on his desk didn’t seem to have been dented one bit. He exhales slowly and starts to organize his desk into something more presentable again. He’d just have to pick it up again after tomorrow’s lessons.

“Anyway, Teach.”

The change in Claude’s voice gives him pause. Byleth looks up, only to see that Claude was looking at him directly, hands nonchalantly cradling his head in a familiar and relaxed pose. His green eyes, normally dark and guarded, had softened a little.

He makes his way to Byleth’s desk and stops.

“I’m sure none of this is easy for you,” he says. He sounds partly apologetic, partly concerned. “So much has happened in the past few weeks. I’m still reeling a bit from it all myself.”

Byleth blinks. An emotion he can’t quite name stirs in his chest. Regret? Guilt? “You don’t have to worry about me, Claude.”

Claude gives his head a slight shake.

“Bear with me here, Teach. Every little bit we seem to uncover about who you are only leads us into more secrets and mysteries,” Claude replies. He pauses, and Byleth can practically see the gears in his head turning. The care he was trying to put into what he’s saying was clear. “You’re learning that who you thought you were isn’t exactly what you were led to believe. It’s… scary to have your entire life be upended like that.”

A beat of silence. The light in the oil lamps flicker.

“It’s …,” and here Byleth finds himself unable to speak further. He wants to wave it off as nothing. He wants to say _It’s fine_ , but that wouldn’t be true. It _was_ hard. Dizzying, in fact. Claude was right; so much had happened within the past few months, more than he’d thought he’d ever have to deal with in his life.

A year ago he thought he’d be finishing up another job with his father at his side congratulating him on another job well done and celebrating with a nice meal at a local inn. A year ago he thought he’d never understand the meaning behind the girl he saw often in his dreams, her presence so warm and familiar. A year ago he’d never thought he’d be a professor, never thought he’d be responsible for any other individuals besides himself and his father, never thought he’d come to enjoy all the opportunities he’d been given as a result.

“It _isn’t_ fine, if that’s what you were going to say,” Claude says. “Even as much as you want it to be. The more we try to get to the bottom of this, the further from ‘fine’ we’ll get.”

_We._

Uncertainty clouds his heart at such a small word. Claude was wholly absorbed in figuring out the little secrets and unknown mysteries that seemed to be showing in the cracks of the Church’s foundation. Most of them, somehow, involved Byleth himself; his Crest, his ability to wield the Sword of the Creator, and especially the fact that Sothis had been with him from a young age.

A familiar and unpleasant tightness blooms in his chest the more he thinks about it. Byleth was unsure; _did_ he want to know? He had been content to live the rest of his life as a mercenary, then had been swept up into a teaching position he’s come to find satisfying — but very quickly the life he thought he’d known was slipping out of his grasp. Uncovering the truth would… would do what? Make it easier to sleep at night?

Perhaps it would soothe the ache in his chest whenever he woke up without Sothis at his side or when he visited his parents’ grave. There was so little Father had told him about his mother after all, much less his relationship with the Church. And surely he had good reason to, but now he was gone and Byleth was left with more questions than answers.

Or maybe it would just leave him even more hurt.

It wouldn’t bring his father or Sothis back, and yet, some small part of him still wanted to uncover all the answers to the puzzle that had been presented to him.

“I just don’t know what to expect,” Byleth finally responds, grimacing slightly. “There’s so little we know or understand.”

Like Claude said, the further they delved into these secrets, the further from ‘fine’ and ‘normal’ they’d go. And what exactly, lies at the end of _that_ road?

“You’re not going at this alone, Teach,” Claude says. A wide grin, warm and confident, appears on his face as he gives Byleth a slight but confident nod. “No matter what happens, you can be sure that all of the Golden Deer are gonna be right at your side.”

It is slight, almost unnoticeable, the way that Claude makes it seem possible — like everything would be okay as long as they stuck together. Byleth hears Sothis’ words in his head again.

No _need for words. I know your heart as though it were my own._

She had allowed him to escape to come back to protect his students. And as much as he supported them, from his first days here to now, they would do the same for him. They’ve been through so much together, after all. They had cultivated the sort of bond that Byleth would protect with the chance Sothis had given him.

A small smile curves the corners of his lips. The weight on his shoulders seems to have lifted ever so slightly.

“Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! i’ve always enjoyed claude & byleth’s dynamic (and always said i was going to write something for it) so here i am!!! romance is not my strong suit so please bear with throughout this week as i exercise my writing chops a bit lol


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